All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. Henry Ellis
Well, I dragged it out last time so I'm not going to again. Georgia Boy and I are no longer. We talked it over and both felt it wasn't right. (I'm still trying to convince myself that it's okay though) Sometimes it really sucks to belong to a church that believes in personal revelation. "Because God said so" is one of the easiest and hardest things to swallow sometimes. We will try the friend route again but I doubt we'll get back together, unless the whole reason we broke up is to get me on a mission. Don't even talk to me about that right now. Or ever. I really don't want to go.
I drove him to meet his sister so he could live with her for the rest of the break. We had a few laughs on the way up, and some good points were brought up. I think my favorite part was when he asked if I was going to be okay. I responded I would be fine.
"You know what fine means don't you?"
"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." Huge grin
"Man, I'm going to miss that."
And then we proceeded to chuck shoes at each other when transfering from my car to his sister. I don't think there is bitterness there, and if there is it's because we are frustrated things aren't as we wish they were.
On the way back I plugged my ipod in and blasted some MCR i recently re added to it. Like windows down, feel that base, and sing at the top of your lungs kind of loud. I love driving on the freeway because nobody cares that you are doing that. As I got closer to home I changed to Sara Bareilles. That probably wasn't the best since it put me in a mood to cry again, and I was headed towards a huge celebration. Where I broke down at least 5 times, I might add. But only because I was trying to tell people I cared about what happened. What can I say? I'm a cryer.
The saddest part, besides the actual break up, was that I realized the only friends I have in Rexburg are his friends. But that's what you get when you have an over possessive roommate for a "best" friend. Oh I haven't told you guys my revelation and struggle of the summer have I? Oops. the reason I realized this is because we were talking about LAN and game nights. If I still wanted to go or if he would be okay with it. The best part of that conversation was when we joked about joint custody of the friends if it got to hard to see each other.
It was a good year and few months. I would only want to take back some of the moments and make them better.
Well gotta blaze.