A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Just as a head's up, I'm working on setting up a mission blog that is apart from this one. I'll explain more when I launch it but know that it is, in fact, in the works.
Sometimes I have really bad luck. Sometimes it's a couple of days, or months, sometimes it's only with certain things. Take, for instance, cameras. I have had 3 in the last 8 months. 4 in the last 4 years. I know, right? It's like I purposely take them, chuck them at the ground, and then look for another one. Well let me explain to you how they have taken that last plunge.
My first camera served me well. It was silver. I got it for Christmas my junior year of high school, I'm pretty sure my friends hated this gift as I took pictures of everything. It even served me well when I took my trip to Jerusalem, that is until someone stepped on it. Now, it's my own fault. I shouldn't have left my bag where my camera was on the floor when we were learning Dahbka. But I thought it would be safe and out of harms way. Little did I realize how big the circle was going to get. Luckily it was on the last few days that the camera broke. When I got back to the states I went to get it fixed. I was then told that to replace the inner screen that had cracked would be more expensive than just buying a new camera.
This is how I got my second camera. I also got it for Christmas. My nice blue camera served me for almost three good years. It saw a lot of fun and a lot of my college life. Then as I was packing my room to move home from college I was the one to step on it and break the inner screen. "Aw crap," was my thought.
This was how I got my third camera. My nice pink one. It lasted for 5 months. It wasn't stepped on this time however, I dropped it. It wasn't a hard drop either. I was up at Bridal Veil falls with Georgia Boy, Kwistin, Mal, and their boy/date. The trip had been going great, lots of pictures, laughing, lots of running around barefoot. You know, the usual. I had placed my camera in the front pocket of my hoodie thinking it would be safe there. After all I had just climbed through the pool at the bottom of the falls several times and not dropped it. I did a small happy dance, or some sort of dance, and what happened? The frackin thing fell out of my pocket. This time however the inner screen didn't crack, yay! Bad news is the focusing part of the lens had gone crazy. It wouldn't focus and the camera would shut off after a few minutes of scary sounds. Mum and I took it to a camera place in October, I was desperately hoping that it would be cheap to fix, and found out that a new camera would be cheaper. Seriously people? Why can't you just make replaceable parts for these things?
This is how I got my fourth camera. It's nice and black and all shiny. I am going to guard it with my life. It's going to go with me on my mission and it's going to come back in one, not broken, piece. And Mum bought a 2 year warranty for it. If it breaks in anyway it will be replaced. Mwhahahaha. Still guarding it with my life though.
Anywayz. Christmas was great! I didn't get a lot of presents but I'm totally okay with that. I would rather the money go to my mission than anything right now. Though my wonderful sister Lani did give me one of the coolest things ever. She made me some Felix Felicis. It's so awesome. She put it in a tiny potions bottle on a necklace and everything. I'm thinking about taking it on my mission but I don't know if that would count as sacrilegious or not.
Well, hope you had a Merry little Christmas yourself and happy New Year!
Oh and if you don't know what Felix Felicis is, go read a small book series called Harry Potter.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Well, it's a wonderful device nonetheless, despite the poorly written instruction manual.
"Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God." - William Carey
Alright, I've hinted, I've almost spilt, and I'm going to admit it now. I am going on a mission. I am serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Boston, Massachusetts. First off: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! I am so excited!! I can't help but sing "I'm going to Boston! I'm going to Boston!" over and over again. THe best part is that Martha's Vineyard and Hartford, Connecticut are in my mission! Both are very important to the history of the deaf community in the US. I might be going English speaking but I'm hoping to use my ASL skills in the mission.
Second of all: Who the freak names their state something so hard to say let alone spell? Oh well, I'm still suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr excited. You can't tell can you?
Anyways, gotta blaze!!!
Alright, I've hinted, I've almost spilt, and I'm going to admit it now. I am going on a mission. I am serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Boston, Massachusetts. First off: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! I am so excited!! I can't help but sing "I'm going to Boston! I'm going to Boston!" over and over again. THe best part is that Martha's Vineyard and Hartford, Connecticut are in my mission! Both are very important to the history of the deaf community in the US. I might be going English speaking but I'm hoping to use my ASL skills in the mission.
Second of all: Who the freak names their state something so hard to say let alone spell? Oh well, I'm still suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr excited. You can't tell can you?
Anyways, gotta blaze!!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots...
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow
This post is to go along with the last one.
Christmas 2008
June 2010
Thanksgiving 2010
April 2011
October 2011
I can see the difference, can you?
(You can click on the pictures to make them bigger, just in case you didn't know...)
Ellen Glasgow
This post is to go along with the last one.
February 2009
Halloween 2009
I can see the difference, can you?
(You can click on the pictures to make them bigger, just in case you didn't know...)
You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
"I wish you would never forget" - Kate Nash
Okay this is going to be another dump of thoughts. I know I probably over load all y'all when I do this but sometimes that's how it goes.
Here's to the serious stuff...
I'm currently sitting in the, almost year old, MC on campus, over looking the newly opened, almost finished Smith quad. I know I'm going to miss this place. No matter how many times I have cursed the 'Burg, for varying reasons of course, it's become my home. I think I have changed almost as much as campus has the four years I've been here. I walk for my associates tomorrow. I know I'll be back for my Bachelor's (I'm almost done with it anyway) but I still can't help feel a certain sadness. From where I sit I can see the path that I walked for 9 months to my dorm and to class. The parking lot where so many adventures happened, the gate to my dorm. The path that I still walk to get to my apartment. The doors of the Smith where I waited for Georgia Boy almost every MWF Winter semester because we had class at the same time. The very, very different looking path that Han, Seabass, Gecko, and I would take to go play volleyball. Even looking at the MC eating area, I might not have a lot of memories on this floor but it's where I pass through to try to keep warm from the freezing weather. Where I met with so many friends to go do other things. I can see the top of the Spori building where I go when I'm all but ready to scream my lungs out from the frustrations because the student art relaxes me. (yes I'm weird, but if you haven't gotten that yet that's your own fault).
I'm going to miss this place so much, even though most days the only thing I want is out. I have so many people I care about up here. From those I know because of working in the HR office, to friends I've made, to anyone else. This has been my life for 4 years. This has been my refiner's fire, taking a very immature, tortured (not as bad as most but still), confused, selfish, scared, bottle up all those feelings 18 year old and changing her into a still slightly immature, less confused, a little more selfless, brave, communicating, a little less haunted, vibrant, confident, stronger in the gospel of Jesus Christ 21 year old. I know I'm about to step into an even greater refiner's fire, but that is for the future me. The past me, the NOW me, is just that, me. I'm happy with who I am now. I still have a lot of room for improvement but I don't hate myself anymore. I don't feel like I have to be perfect for people to like me. It's okay to show imperfection, because those that are bothered by it don't see the real you. And why would you want to be around people like that?
I'm happy. I think I've finally applied the greatest lesson this university has been trying to teach me from day one. When you become active in the gospel you are happy. When you understand and apply the Atonement, in all of it's umph, you have the greatest capacity for joy. I'm to that point. This semester has had it's up and downs but I do believe over all it has been my happiest. Especially the past two weeks. Why? I've ready my scriptures almost every day, I've studied Preach My Gospel with Allie Cat almost every Sunday. I've been active in my calling as RS teacher. I have prayed with real intent every night. I've kept a gratitude journal. Basically I've allowed the light of Christ into my life. And what a light that is. I am proud to say that I am a Latter-day Saint, Mormon, one of them crazy people, which ever you know us by. I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
That is the greatest thing I have learned in all of my university studies.
I will miss this place.
Okay this is going to be another dump of thoughts. I know I probably over load all y'all when I do this but sometimes that's how it goes.
Here's to the serious stuff...
I'm currently sitting in the, almost year old, MC on campus, over looking the newly opened, almost finished Smith quad. I know I'm going to miss this place. No matter how many times I have cursed the 'Burg, for varying reasons of course, it's become my home. I think I have changed almost as much as campus has the four years I've been here. I walk for my associates tomorrow. I know I'll be back for my Bachelor's (I'm almost done with it anyway) but I still can't help feel a certain sadness. From where I sit I can see the path that I walked for 9 months to my dorm and to class. The parking lot where so many adventures happened, the gate to my dorm. The path that I still walk to get to my apartment. The doors of the Smith where I waited for Georgia Boy almost every MWF Winter semester because we had class at the same time. The very, very different looking path that Han, Seabass, Gecko, and I would take to go play volleyball. Even looking at the MC eating area, I might not have a lot of memories on this floor but it's where I pass through to try to keep warm from the freezing weather. Where I met with so many friends to go do other things. I can see the top of the Spori building where I go when I'm all but ready to scream my lungs out from the frustrations because the student art relaxes me. (yes I'm weird, but if you haven't gotten that yet that's your own fault).
I'm going to miss this place so much, even though most days the only thing I want is out. I have so many people I care about up here. From those I know because of working in the HR office, to friends I've made, to anyone else. This has been my life for 4 years. This has been my refiner's fire, taking a very immature, tortured (not as bad as most but still), confused, selfish, scared, bottle up all those feelings 18 year old and changing her into a still slightly immature, less confused, a little more selfless, brave, communicating, a little less haunted, vibrant, confident, stronger in the gospel of Jesus Christ 21 year old. I know I'm about to step into an even greater refiner's fire, but that is for the future me. The past me, the NOW me, is just that, me. I'm happy with who I am now. I still have a lot of room for improvement but I don't hate myself anymore. I don't feel like I have to be perfect for people to like me. It's okay to show imperfection, because those that are bothered by it don't see the real you. And why would you want to be around people like that?
I'm happy. I think I've finally applied the greatest lesson this university has been trying to teach me from day one. When you become active in the gospel you are happy. When you understand and apply the Atonement, in all of it's umph, you have the greatest capacity for joy. I'm to that point. This semester has had it's up and downs but I do believe over all it has been my happiest. Especially the past two weeks. Why? I've ready my scriptures almost every day, I've studied Preach My Gospel with Allie Cat almost every Sunday. I've been active in my calling as RS teacher. I have prayed with real intent every night. I've kept a gratitude journal. Basically I've allowed the light of Christ into my life. And what a light that is. I am proud to say that I am a Latter-day Saint, Mormon, one of them crazy people, which ever you know us by. I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
That is the greatest thing I have learned in all of my university studies.
I will miss this place.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Where's your Mom? She's going to kill me, then you, and then me again.
"So maybe I'll sit back and just enjoy all this for now. Watch it all play out, see if you reallly stick around" - P!nk
Okay, just as a head's up: This post is going to contain a lot of topics. I know if I do only one in a post the others will never be gotten to, so thus this massive one post. Maybe I'll break it up later...
So first the juicy stuff. My date(s)? with Han. We went to Applebee's here in town. He suggested it even. It was actually kinda sweet. Though it's funny that I know this town better than he does. We drove all around town because he took a wrong turn out of my parking lot, it made me laugh. We talked most of dinner, though the game between BYU and Idaho was distracting. BYU blew them out of the water by the way. It was interesting listening to Han talk about Idaho University or state, whatever it was, and his mission, and his plans for the future.
After dinner we came back to my apartment and watched most of Megamind. And happily enough the guy that Megamind pretends to be didn't bug me at all this time. Small bit of history here is needed: Last I watched the movie Barty or whatever his name was reminded me so much of B.M. Not personality or anything just how he looked. It made it really hard to enjoy the movie. This time it only crossed my mind because I was worried about it. But there was no correlation this time yay!
Oh it was really funny cause both of us were freezing in one way or another after dinner so when we got to the apartment I suggested snuggling into blankets. Han's face was full of surprise and I think a tich worried, that melted into relief and something else as I brought down 2 blankets and proceeded to hand him one and I snuggled into the other. Only after I had I realized what he must have thought... oh dear, I need to be more careful.
Anyway, for a while I have seen on BYU-I's website that there was going to be a "for fun" chess tournament on campus. So the day of I texted Han and asked if he wanted to go, remembering he loved it before his mission. He said yes and so after an exciting trip to the store we went. Once the tournament began he beat me in four moves. I was trying to hard to see future moves that I totally spaced the present. So much for me learning to be better at chess lol. I played a few other people for fun and even beat someone! He almost beat me too. If Han hadn't made a comment I would have missed the check mate and the guy would have check mated me.
Oh the weirdest part of the night? I met my cousin's mission trainer. So dear cousin Jace I know what kinda kid you hung out with for 6 weeks. And I'm sorry I never wrote you while you were on your mission...I'm horrible at that kinda stuff, just ask Han.
Anyway after that we went back to my apartment, finished watching Megamind and then started to watch my new favorite thing right now, Once Upon a Time!!
And then he went home. Poor kid, I still have no romantic inclinations towards him at all.
{Transition to next part of Blog}
I haven't done a "review of shows" since I was a freshman in college. I think it's time to do one again.
Let's start of with the fan favorite shall we?
Castle!:
"A mystery writer follows a police officer because he claims she is his new muse." Oh how this show has grown past that simple statement! I was in love with this show the first season, and that love has only grown! The chemistry of the cast is awesome and has built over time. The characters themselves have become dynamic, the only one I can think that would be slightly static would be Alexis or Martha but even then they have grown. Once again I have to say that if Nathan Fillion was ten years younger and LDS I would marry him. I love this show so much.
Charlie's Angels:
I liked this show. I was highly disappointed that it was cancelled after 4 episodes. Yes, it wasn't the best acting or plot but it kept with the original show's vibes, it was clean, and it was working on getting depth. I really liked the actors....grrr.
Unforgettable:
Some people will argue that this is just another detective show that has a "super power" associated with it. That might be true but it's good! The cast has surprising good chemistry and I love Poppy Montgomery as an actress. Plus it's interesting to see how someone could use something that could be perceived as a horrible burden to help others. Oh, the main character can't forget anything. She remembers everything except what happened the day her older sister was killed when they were kids.
2 Broke Girls:
This show had me laughing out loud really hard every episode. The main character Max, I could see me being her if I wasn't LDS. However it was not the cleanest and I decided in light of recent choices I should clean up what I watch. It made my heart hurt a little when I decided not to continue watching it.
New Girl:
Basically the same as 2 Broke Girls. Though not so much with the heart hurt. Plus it was painful to try to watch Zooey Deschanel act awkward. It was also very, very predictable.
Grimm:
It's a show about how fairy tales like Little Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs etc. are warnings for what's really out there. There are werewolves and other nasty creatures out there hiding among us, and then there are those that can see these bad dudes. Those people have the blood of the "Grimms" and that's what they're called too. I didn't particularly like the first two episodes so I stopped watching. It seemed like it was trying to be "edgy" and doing a horrible job of it. Plus the main actor really didn't catch my attention. And his character seemed really, really stupid. Dude, Buffy was like, 6 years younger than you and she picked up on the supernatural thing a whole lot faster than you. And was ten times smarter about it too.
Which leads me to the better of the two shows dealing with fairy tales:
Once Upon a Time!:
Oh my goodness. I was really worried with this one. It looked epic in the commercials but we all know how deceiving those can be. Also some of the writers of Lost are working on this one. So there is still room to cringe, but so far I.LOVE.IT. Seriously. The character development is awesome! I guess I should explain the show huh?
Well, all is awesome in the world of fairy taledom, then the evil queen enacts this curse sending everyone into our world where there are no happy endings. Thus giving her her happy ending though she can't remember it. Prince Charming and Snow White had a baby and were able to protect her from the curse by sending her to our world first. Fast forward 28 years. The baby, Emma, is now 28 and is dragged to StoryBrooke, Maine by the son she gave up when she was 18. He is convinced the whole town is under a curse and that Emma is the only one who can break it.
She doesn't believe it of course, since the town seems perfectly normal and no one remembers being a fairy tale. Part of the fun of the show is trying to decide if it's all in Henry's, the kid's, head or if the curse is really real. Though you get flashbacks to the fairy kingdom all of the episodes. I just love this show. Plus the evil queen is a really good "I just want to freakin smack you in the head or lock you in a dark prison" personality. She plays her part so well. I could go on and on... Just go watch it on Hulu already okay?
(Insert awkward transition here}
I'm going to be depressed this week. I already know it and today proved that. Wanna know why? Look at where I was last year at this exact same time. Give up? I was going to Georgia with Georgia Boy. I was meeting his family, feeling like we were on a honeymoon. I was becoming part of his wonderful family. Where am I this year? In the Burg til Tuesday, then with my own wonderful family for Thanksgiving, planning to change the whole course of my life in the coming year. It's funny how life can change so freakin much in a year.
I don't even know how to act towards that boy anymore. It just gets harder and harder each time I see him. Is he a big brother or someone who only says hi when we are face to face at Gaxor's? If that's the case why does he come talk to me at work every Wednesday? I hate boys. They are to much trouble to worry about. Okay, I won't worry about them for the next three years. Deal self. Yeah, like that's going to happen.
Anyway if you stuck here till the end of this post, good for you! You just experienced another random thought hop of me. You deserve chocolate or something.
Okay, just as a head's up: This post is going to contain a lot of topics. I know if I do only one in a post the others will never be gotten to, so thus this massive one post. Maybe I'll break it up later...
So first the juicy stuff. My date(s)? with Han. We went to Applebee's here in town. He suggested it even. It was actually kinda sweet. Though it's funny that I know this town better than he does. We drove all around town because he took a wrong turn out of my parking lot, it made me laugh. We talked most of dinner, though the game between BYU and Idaho was distracting. BYU blew them out of the water by the way. It was interesting listening to Han talk about Idaho University or state, whatever it was, and his mission, and his plans for the future.
After dinner we came back to my apartment and watched most of Megamind. And happily enough the guy that Megamind pretends to be didn't bug me at all this time. Small bit of history here is needed: Last I watched the movie Barty or whatever his name was reminded me so much of B.M. Not personality or anything just how he looked. It made it really hard to enjoy the movie. This time it only crossed my mind because I was worried about it. But there was no correlation this time yay!
Oh it was really funny cause both of us were freezing in one way or another after dinner so when we got to the apartment I suggested snuggling into blankets. Han's face was full of surprise and I think a tich worried, that melted into relief and something else as I brought down 2 blankets and proceeded to hand him one and I snuggled into the other. Only after I had I realized what he must have thought... oh dear, I need to be more careful.
Anyway, for a while I have seen on BYU-I's website that there was going to be a "for fun" chess tournament on campus. So the day of I texted Han and asked if he wanted to go, remembering he loved it before his mission. He said yes and so after an exciting trip to the store we went. Once the tournament began he beat me in four moves. I was trying to hard to see future moves that I totally spaced the present. So much for me learning to be better at chess lol. I played a few other people for fun and even beat someone! He almost beat me too. If Han hadn't made a comment I would have missed the check mate and the guy would have check mated me.
Oh the weirdest part of the night? I met my cousin's mission trainer. So dear cousin Jace I know what kinda kid you hung out with for 6 weeks. And I'm sorry I never wrote you while you were on your mission...I'm horrible at that kinda stuff, just ask Han.
Anyway after that we went back to my apartment, finished watching Megamind and then started to watch my new favorite thing right now, Once Upon a Time!!
And then he went home. Poor kid, I still have no romantic inclinations towards him at all.
{Transition to next part of Blog}
I haven't done a "review of shows" since I was a freshman in college. I think it's time to do one again.
Let's start of with the fan favorite shall we?
Castle!:
"A mystery writer follows a police officer because he claims she is his new muse." Oh how this show has grown past that simple statement! I was in love with this show the first season, and that love has only grown! The chemistry of the cast is awesome and has built over time. The characters themselves have become dynamic, the only one I can think that would be slightly static would be Alexis or Martha but even then they have grown. Once again I have to say that if Nathan Fillion was ten years younger and LDS I would marry him. I love this show so much.
Charlie's Angels:
I liked this show. I was highly disappointed that it was cancelled after 4 episodes. Yes, it wasn't the best acting or plot but it kept with the original show's vibes, it was clean, and it was working on getting depth. I really liked the actors....grrr.
Unforgettable:
Some people will argue that this is just another detective show that has a "super power" associated with it. That might be true but it's good! The cast has surprising good chemistry and I love Poppy Montgomery as an actress. Plus it's interesting to see how someone could use something that could be perceived as a horrible burden to help others. Oh, the main character can't forget anything. She remembers everything except what happened the day her older sister was killed when they were kids.
2 Broke Girls:
This show had me laughing out loud really hard every episode. The main character Max, I could see me being her if I wasn't LDS. However it was not the cleanest and I decided in light of recent choices I should clean up what I watch. It made my heart hurt a little when I decided not to continue watching it.
New Girl:
Basically the same as 2 Broke Girls. Though not so much with the heart hurt. Plus it was painful to try to watch Zooey Deschanel act awkward. It was also very, very predictable.
Grimm:
It's a show about how fairy tales like Little Red Riding Hood, the Three Little Pigs etc. are warnings for what's really out there. There are werewolves and other nasty creatures out there hiding among us, and then there are those that can see these bad dudes. Those people have the blood of the "Grimms" and that's what they're called too. I didn't particularly like the first two episodes so I stopped watching. It seemed like it was trying to be "edgy" and doing a horrible job of it. Plus the main actor really didn't catch my attention. And his character seemed really, really stupid. Dude, Buffy was like, 6 years younger than you and she picked up on the supernatural thing a whole lot faster than you. And was ten times smarter about it too.
Which leads me to the better of the two shows dealing with fairy tales:
Once Upon a Time!:
Oh my goodness. I was really worried with this one. It looked epic in the commercials but we all know how deceiving those can be. Also some of the writers of Lost are working on this one. So there is still room to cringe, but so far I.LOVE.IT. Seriously. The character development is awesome! I guess I should explain the show huh?
Well, all is awesome in the world of fairy taledom, then the evil queen enacts this curse sending everyone into our world where there are no happy endings. Thus giving her her happy ending though she can't remember it. Prince Charming and Snow White had a baby and were able to protect her from the curse by sending her to our world first. Fast forward 28 years. The baby, Emma, is now 28 and is dragged to StoryBrooke, Maine by the son she gave up when she was 18. He is convinced the whole town is under a curse and that Emma is the only one who can break it.
She doesn't believe it of course, since the town seems perfectly normal and no one remembers being a fairy tale. Part of the fun of the show is trying to decide if it's all in Henry's, the kid's, head or if the curse is really real. Though you get flashbacks to the fairy kingdom all of the episodes. I just love this show. Plus the evil queen is a really good "I just want to freakin smack you in the head or lock you in a dark prison" personality. She plays her part so well. I could go on and on... Just go watch it on Hulu already okay?
(Insert awkward transition here}
I'm going to be depressed this week. I already know it and today proved that. Wanna know why? Look at where I was last year at this exact same time. Give up? I was going to Georgia with Georgia Boy. I was meeting his family, feeling like we were on a honeymoon. I was becoming part of his wonderful family. Where am I this year? In the Burg til Tuesday, then with my own wonderful family for Thanksgiving, planning to change the whole course of my life in the coming year. It's funny how life can change so freakin much in a year.
I don't even know how to act towards that boy anymore. It just gets harder and harder each time I see him. Is he a big brother or someone who only says hi when we are face to face at Gaxor's? If that's the case why does he come talk to me at work every Wednesday? I hate boys. They are to much trouble to worry about. Okay, I won't worry about them for the next three years. Deal self. Yeah, like that's going to happen.
Anyway if you stuck here till the end of this post, good for you! You just experienced another random thought hop of me. You deserve chocolate or something.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
They popped out of the snow. Like daisies!!
Seriously people, daisies! I don't think Mushu realized how true those words would ring out. I was happily, okay let us be real here people I was devastated to be, single. Then these boys just started popping up out of nowhere.
Let me start the list with the boy that I know for certain is interested.
He shall be nicknamed......Godfrey. Long story, don't ask. Okay, this Godfrey kid I met through Georgia Boy last summer. He was one of the friends that went up to Georgia Boy after we had hung out and basically said "If you screw it over with her can I be next?" Yay for self-confidence boost! Or atleast that's what I thought last summer when Georgia Boy told me that about the guys, now not so much.
Back in September, around school starting, Godfrey posted on my fb wall and asked how I was doing. I had, as previously stated, split from Georgia Boy and Godfrey had just had his very pushy fiance call off the wedding. We messaged back and forth for a little bit and he, in a very cute way, asked for my phone number. I skirted the subject and the conversation kinda died off. Then it came out that I'm graduating with my associates this semester, YAY!!!, and I got a very interesting e-mail from dear, poor Godfrey.
Basically it was a confession of his feelings towards me. We've been e-mailing back and forth since. However I have been straight forward with him that I do not plan on being back up in the Burg in January when he is here. He however has already several dates planned. Hope springs eternal right? Oh, did I mention I have no idea how I feel about this whole thing, let alone him?
Now to the boys I'm not so sure about....
Han's back from his mission! Quick recap, Han was my FHE brother freshman year, I had a crush on him, he had a crush on me. I decided it could never work.
Anyway, he's back on campus and we've hung out a lot since October 27th. I have no idea how I feel about it either. He compliments me all the time, I don't know what it means! I mean like today for example. He came in to the HR office to talk about employment, it's what I do right? So, I had made treats for the office cause of... well that's another topic. So Patricio walk past and was complimenting my hide-a-rolls. And Han whips out this crazy compliment! Something along the lines of "Anything Kanani cooks is good. Doesn't matter if it's box Mac and Cheese or rice from a box. It's good." He says stuff like that all the time and I don't know what to do!!!! Plus I'm pretty sure we're going on a date tonight. I mean, he's taking me to dinner to repay me for the one that I made for him a few nights ago because I really didn't feel like going out to dinner with him that night. But he asked in such a way that I think it's a date. Or maybe he's just being a guy that just got off his mission so he's still acting like a missionary I.JUST.DON'T.KNOW!
And then there's this kid in my CIT class that got my phone number a few weeks ago so we could work on homework together. Who does that? And we have worked on homework together. Thursday when we couldn't figure out the frackin homework we went and watched a movie at his FHE sisters' house. I don't know if he felt bad that he was leaving so he asked me to join him, or if he really wanted me to go.
Oh and don't even get me started with Georgia Boy's best friend/roommate, or with this one kid that I see all the time on campus now that used to be my FHE brother the winter semester I started dating B.M.
Total freakin confusion. Total daisy popping freakin confusion. Not to mention I still know I love Georgia Boy, and I'm pretty sure he still has feelings too. Does anyone have a crystal ball I could borrow? Anyone?
Let me start the list with the boy that I know for certain is interested.
He shall be nicknamed......Godfrey. Long story, don't ask. Okay, this Godfrey kid I met through Georgia Boy last summer. He was one of the friends that went up to Georgia Boy after we had hung out and basically said "If you screw it over with her can I be next?" Yay for self-confidence boost! Or atleast that's what I thought last summer when Georgia Boy told me that about the guys, now not so much.
Back in September, around school starting, Godfrey posted on my fb wall and asked how I was doing. I had, as previously stated, split from Georgia Boy and Godfrey had just had his very pushy fiance call off the wedding. We messaged back and forth for a little bit and he, in a very cute way, asked for my phone number. I skirted the subject and the conversation kinda died off. Then it came out that I'm graduating with my associates this semester, YAY!!!, and I got a very interesting e-mail from dear, poor Godfrey.
Basically it was a confession of his feelings towards me. We've been e-mailing back and forth since. However I have been straight forward with him that I do not plan on being back up in the Burg in January when he is here. He however has already several dates planned. Hope springs eternal right? Oh, did I mention I have no idea how I feel about this whole thing, let alone him?
Now to the boys I'm not so sure about....
Han's back from his mission! Quick recap, Han was my FHE brother freshman year, I had a crush on him, he had a crush on me. I decided it could never work.
Anyway, he's back on campus and we've hung out a lot since October 27th. I have no idea how I feel about it either. He compliments me all the time, I don't know what it means! I mean like today for example. He came in to the HR office to talk about employment, it's what I do right? So, I had made treats for the office cause of... well that's another topic. So Patricio walk past and was complimenting my hide-a-rolls. And Han whips out this crazy compliment! Something along the lines of "Anything Kanani cooks is good. Doesn't matter if it's box Mac and Cheese or rice from a box. It's good." He says stuff like that all the time and I don't know what to do!!!! Plus I'm pretty sure we're going on a date tonight. I mean, he's taking me to dinner to repay me for the one that I made for him a few nights ago because I really didn't feel like going out to dinner with him that night. But he asked in such a way that I think it's a date. Or maybe he's just being a guy that just got off his mission so he's still acting like a missionary I.JUST.DON'T.KNOW!
And then there's this kid in my CIT class that got my phone number a few weeks ago so we could work on homework together. Who does that? And we have worked on homework together. Thursday when we couldn't figure out the frackin homework we went and watched a movie at his FHE sisters' house. I don't know if he felt bad that he was leaving so he asked me to join him, or if he really wanted me to go.
Oh and don't even get me started with Georgia Boy's best friend/roommate, or with this one kid that I see all the time on campus now that used to be my FHE brother the winter semester I started dating B.M.
Total freakin confusion. Total daisy popping freakin confusion. Not to mention I still know I love Georgia Boy, and I'm pretty sure he still has feelings too. Does anyone have a crystal ball I could borrow? Anyone?
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
This is What Weekends are For!
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. C. S. Lewis
One of my wonderful friends had a birthday this past week and was having a party on Friday to celebrate. I had wanted to go down to homecity to attend but didn't have a ride. Then the stars alined and a ride appeared!! It was amazing, this ride was leaving after 5 on Friday. That never happens! This is one of those little miracles that happen in life because I work until 5 every day. Obviously Heavenly Father knew I needed to get out of the Burg and visit my awesome friends.
After much horrible construction traffic in homestate I made it to my house. I dropped off Mum, she had picked me up where my ride dropped me off, and closely following the speed limit I made it to the last 5 minutes of Writer's party. It was actually almost perfect. She was standing at her club house's glass door saying goodbye to some people and I popped into the light. The look on her face was wonderful!! Then Mal and Kwistin saw me. Their reactions were pretty good too. It was much needed love all around.
After chatting and taking pictures for a little bit, I took Kwistin home. Don’t give me that funny look! We did go home, we just took a side trip to see her boy. As we were driving across town we got to talk and catch up. It was great. When we got to Trainer’s apartment Kwistin called him and had him come out onto his balcony. I have always wanted to do this with someone! Of course I always imagined it was me getting called by a boy but this is close enough!
Trainer then came down and we spent a good hour just talking. It was awesome. I kind of miss random adventures with friends late at night. Heck, I miss random adventures with friends. But that is what this semester has been about, rebuilding.
Driving back across town Kwistin and I filled the car with laughs and jokes. Just filling each other in on what has happened since we said goodbye in September.
The next day I went to Farmington with Writer to help her out with a book signing/charity carnival. After that was done we met up with Trainer and his little brother at the Gateway to support Kwistin. She was painting on Tom’s shoes that afternoon as an event put on by Tom’s. Did I mention she’s an amazing artist? After Kwistin was done painting we went to Chili’s and had even more of a blast, even though all of us were super tired.
When we got back home Trainer and Kwistin came over to my house to chill just a little bit longer, though I’m sure all of us were falling asleep on my porch
The next morning I went over to my wonderful sister’s house to have breakfast. I love visiting with her and my cute little nieces. Favorite and Jedi are getting so huge! Sometimes I can’t believe that so much time has past since they were born. I love hanging out with them. I was truly sad when I had to leave so I could make it to church...which I ended up being late for since I got the time wrong anyway.
After church Mum and Da drove me back to IKEA so I could meet my ride. I love talking with my parents. I just plain love them.
The ride back up was lots of fun. The girls I rode with are energetic and crazy, the kind of people I love hanging out with back home. You know who you are =}. Not only that but there was a rain/lighting storm passing over us between Malad and the Burg. We got some awesome lightning strikes in the distance.
When we got back to the Burg I dropped my stuff off at my apartment, ate something and then headed to stadium singing. I love stadium singing. I have gone every week this semester and it has been a huge blessing.
All in all this weekend was amazing. And it was one that I really, really needed. Not to get out of the Burg but to know that I really do have true friends down in homecity that care about me and miss me when I’m gone. It’s a wonderful feeling.
Well gotta blaze!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Parachute
"Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you." -Frank Lloyd Wright
As stated in previous posts, I love music. I love finding bands that know the words that are in my heart that I can't say. Way back when I went to the Secondhand Serenade concert a band called Parachute opened for them. I forgot about them until this summer when I recently decided I needed to revamp my music tastes. I was leaning way to much towards My Chemical Romance, Three Days Grace, Sick Puppies, and the like. I have been hopping between Barlow Girl and SuperChick, which are both Christian rock bands I'm pretty sure. Then today I remembered that Parachute came out with a new single during the Summer and a DJ that I like said she really wished more bands would play the upbeat music Parachute does. "Well I'm looking for upbeat music" I thought to myself, so I checked them out again.
I am so glad I did! I've been listening to them all day today. They make my soul happy. So far I haven't found one song that leaves me with a dark feeling. It's great! Why can't more bands be this good and make you feel this good?
Anyways this might not be the last of the random posts I do. I have a lot of things rolling around in the old noggin right now. You would be surprised how much boy drama can be found when one is not looking for it.
Well, enjoy the music!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
"I belong to the
Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!" I bet if you know that song you sang it in your head =} Last week was General Conference and I loved it! This was one of the best conferences that I remember. I got a lot of of answers to a question that I've had for the past few months. I am truly grateful to be part of this Church and having the knowledge that God speaks to us in this day and age.
I was slightly disappointed that I wasn't able to go to Llama's house to watch it but it turned out to be a better option that I stayed in the Burg. I got to hang out with Gaxor and Anarion almost all of the weekend. I even helped Gaxor build an Xbox. Well kinda. Georgia Boy's Xbox was literally fried on the inside. Like the motherboard was burned and a fuse or two was blown out. We tried to compile the parts from that and another Xbox but it was futile.
Anyway back to General Conference. I absolutely loved it. I was able to really get into the spirit of learning and not only that but they announced a second temple in Provo!!!! This is the first time there has been two temples in one city. But since the current Provo temple is so overwhelmed with patrons they are building a new one! Not only that they are using the shell of the burned tabernacle! I am sad that it won't continue to be the tabernacle. I have so many memories of sitting on the balcony, front row, almost perpendicular to the speakers, listing to them. More likely goofing off or just plain not paying attention, but who can blame me? I was 17 or under...Okay so I payed attention after I was like 12, but you get the idea. Cherished memories, but I'm excited to make new ones in the temple!
Lame sauce, the picture of the design of the temple won't load. I'll try again later.
Well that's pretty much it! God loves us and the church is true
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Loud music and freeways go together
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
Henry Ellis
Well, I dragged it out last time so I'm not going to again. Georgia Boy and I are no longer. We talked it over and both felt it wasn't right. (I'm still trying to convince myself that it's okay though) Sometimes it really sucks to belong to a church that believes in personal revelation. "Because God said so" is one of the easiest and hardest things to swallow sometimes. We will try the friend route again but I doubt we'll get back together, unless the whole reason we broke up is to get me on a mission. Don't even talk to me about that right now. Or ever. I really don't want to go.
I drove him to meet his sister so he could live with her for the rest of the break. We had a few laughs on the way up, and some good points were brought up. I think my favorite part was when he asked if I was going to be okay. I responded I would be fine.
"You know what fine means don't you?"
"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." Huge grin
"Man, I'm going to miss that."
And then we proceeded to chuck shoes at each other when transfering from my car to his sister. I don't think there is bitterness there, and if there is it's because we are frustrated things aren't as we wish they were.
On the way back I plugged my ipod in and blasted some MCR i recently re added to it. Like windows down, feel that base, and sing at the top of your lungs kind of loud. I love driving on the freeway because nobody cares that you are doing that. As I got closer to home I changed to Sara Bareilles. That probably wasn't the best since it put me in a mood to cry again, and I was headed towards a huge celebration. Where I broke down at least 5 times, I might add. But only because I was trying to tell people I cared about what happened. What can I say? I'm a cryer.
The saddest part, besides the actual break up, was that I realized the only friends I have in Rexburg are his friends. But that's what you get when you have an over possessive roommate for a "best" friend. Oh I haven't told you guys my revelation and struggle of the summer have I? Oops. the reason I realized this is because we were talking about LAN and game nights. If I still wanted to go or if he would be okay with it. The best part of that conversation was when we joked about joint custody of the friends if it got to hard to see each other.
It was a good year and few months. I would only want to take back some of the moments and make them better.
Well gotta blaze.
Well, I dragged it out last time so I'm not going to again. Georgia Boy and I are no longer. We talked it over and both felt it wasn't right. (I'm still trying to convince myself that it's okay though) Sometimes it really sucks to belong to a church that believes in personal revelation. "Because God said so" is one of the easiest and hardest things to swallow sometimes. We will try the friend route again but I doubt we'll get back together, unless the whole reason we broke up is to get me on a mission. Don't even talk to me about that right now. Or ever. I really don't want to go.
I drove him to meet his sister so he could live with her for the rest of the break. We had a few laughs on the way up, and some good points were brought up. I think my favorite part was when he asked if I was going to be okay. I responded I would be fine.
"You know what fine means don't you?"
"Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." Huge grin
"Man, I'm going to miss that."
And then we proceeded to chuck shoes at each other when transfering from my car to his sister. I don't think there is bitterness there, and if there is it's because we are frustrated things aren't as we wish they were.
On the way back I plugged my ipod in and blasted some MCR i recently re added to it. Like windows down, feel that base, and sing at the top of your lungs kind of loud. I love driving on the freeway because nobody cares that you are doing that. As I got closer to home I changed to Sara Bareilles. That probably wasn't the best since it put me in a mood to cry again, and I was headed towards a huge celebration. Where I broke down at least 5 times, I might add. But only because I was trying to tell people I cared about what happened. What can I say? I'm a cryer.
The saddest part, besides the actual break up, was that I realized the only friends I have in Rexburg are his friends. But that's what you get when you have an over possessive roommate for a "best" friend. Oh I haven't told you guys my revelation and struggle of the summer have I? Oops. the reason I realized this is because we were talking about LAN and game nights. If I still wanted to go or if he would be okay with it. The best part of that conversation was when we joked about joint custody of the friends if it got to hard to see each other.
It was a good year and few months. I would only want to take back some of the moments and make them better.
Well gotta blaze.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
There ain't no other step than one foot right in front of the other
"Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life." -Seneca
Don't worry this is not a post about Harry Potter 7.2. I'll let people actually see it before I review and tell the story of the day. Which thanks to Kwistin was a wonderful day and a great distractions from Hospitals.
I realized a few days ago that I am horrible at follow up blogs. I'll write down a goal and never actually tell you how it's going, or went. So that's what this post is about, my summer goals.
Goal number 1: Become more decisive. I think this goal is going well, but I'm not so sure... ha ha I'm funny. Basically I had forgotten about this one. But the more I talk with Georgia Boy the more I'm deciding stuff.
Goal number 2: Become more religious. *cough, cough* Um... well it started off well. I was happily reading the book "Strengthening Our Families: An in-depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family" in April, then May happened. I begrudgingly kept reading then kinda petered out in June. However I started reading it again at the end of June, then changed my routine so now it's my Sunday reading. Instead I'm reading the Book of Mormon every night. It's my goal to finish by the start of school, so September 12th. So far I am on 2 Nephi (don't think I zoomed through 1 Nephi, that was my reading during the Sacrament for the past three months.) I figure if I'm really ambitious and can keep to a break neck speed I can finish by the 20th of August. However, I know that won't happen so I'm trying to read at least two chapters a night. I'm actually loving it. I don't know if it's because I'm older since the last time I actually decided to study the Boom of Mormon by myself, or that I have been reading more difficult stuff lately but I have been getting so much out of the chapters. It's great.
Also I was called as Sunday school teacher! I've been wanting this calling since I was a freshman! I was super excited to teach the New Testament because I've been there. However, the Lord is keeping me humble teaching Preach My Gospel. My first lesson was okay. Not how I wanted it to go but it'll get better, I hope.
Nightly prayers have become more sincere, morning prayers are still struggling to get said.
Goal number 3: Have a more consistent schedule. *cough, cough, hack, hack, cough*
Goal number 4: Gain weight. I actually have no idea how this is going. I forgot to weigh myself at the beginning of the summer and I don't even know were the scale is now that we moved.
Goal number 5: Eat breakfast without feeling sick. Actually this goal has worked... or at least when I was eating breakfast.....
Goal number 6: No water works. Well the month of April and May there were plenty of tears. An impending break up and then it actually happening were at fault. Don't worry, we got back together (best birthday present ever). I should probably explain why I set this goal a little so the next part makes a little more sense. I have somehow gotten it into my head that it's not okay for me to cry. It's totally legit for everyone else to, just not me. I don't know if it was all the tough women warrior books I read since I was little but that was the idea in my head, and I hated to cry. Literally. i would beat myself up mentally every time for showing "weakness." There's the reason and here's the next part.
A few weeks ago in Relief Society we were talking about how great righteous women are. The teacher had someone read a quote about different gifts that we don't usually think of as gifts. One of them was the gift of weeping, or crying I forget the exact wording. Then we had a discussion that without accepting your current gifts you can't strengthen them and become stronger altogether. This really hit home so I have spent the past few weeks accepting this part of myself. The funny thing is that now that I have started to it's a lot easier not to cry. I still have situations where I want to but it's a lot easier not to turn into a blithering idiot. Go figure ha ha.
Goal number 7: Find joy in the internship. I was doing so well, and then I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not doing so well now.
Goal number 8: Get a tan. Yay! This one is going great! In May I helped out with a yard sale and got toasted. That mostly turned into a nice tan, with some sad tan lines yes but still. Wearing shorts all the time is also helping the legs. Time in Moab also helped ( I still need to write about that...). It's funny, the more I wear shorts the less I care about what people think of my white/sometimes not perfectly shaved legs. Yay for self-esteem!
Goal number 9: Yard work. This did pick up alot when I got my ipod back. However moving scared my motivation away. However since Georgia Boy is going to come down for a good long while to help with yard work, I'll probably find motivation again. =}
Goal number 10: clusters. I'm defaulting to CIT and automotive tech. I'm signed up for both beginning classes in the Fall. We'll see if I'm as good at programing as I hope I will be, and as interested in mechanics as I think I am.
Goal number 11: Resurrection of social life. This one is going quite well too. Home evening with the ward every Monday. Going to a pool party at least once a week. Sunday night gospel study sessions. Movie nights are picking up, seriously. Mal and I are actually starting to have social standing and influence. Random outings with friends. Talking to more than just high school friends/acquaintances at church. Rooftop concerts every 1st Friday night.
A side effect of this, or a precursor...I'm not sure, is that I'm trusting people with more...me I guess.
Think about it. What kind of relationship do I have with you (if you know me from real life)? Mostly you come talk to me about your problems or to vent or something like that right? I'm the friend with advice, a shoulder to cry on, with a big hug, and huge smile. Sounds about right huh? Now think about me. What are my favorite colors? Favorite genre of books? When's my birthday? All the surface stuff that's easy to know right? (Emerald green and ice blue, fantasy/sci-fi, and think about it. Just incase you didn't know)
Now think about these questions: Do you know how much I worry? How much I'm afraid of marriage? How much I just want to be liked by those around me? How much of a geek and book nerd I really am? Did you know that Georgia Boy and I broke up? Did I tell you my da has cancer and how much that scares me? What are some of my deepest fears?
Don't know the answers? You're just like everyone else, mostly. However, I'm starting to let myself out. No longer am I looking at certain people and saying "Wow, you're amazing. I have to be perfect to be your friend. Show no weakness, Kanani. No one really wants to hear it anyway." Now it's more of a "Yes, that person is amazing, but so are you. They care about you, it's okay to show not everything is awesome."
It's been hard to let people in. Especially with past experiences. I still down play a lot of stuff like it's nothing, even though I'm freaking out inside. But it's a process right?
Anyway. That's the update of the summer goals. Mostly this was written because my body woke me up at 5:30 this morning and laughed maniacally when it wouldn't let me go back to sleep. Partly because I want to be better at follow ups.
Gotta blaze!
Don't worry this is not a post about Harry Potter 7.2. I'll let people actually see it before I review and tell the story of the day. Which thanks to Kwistin was a wonderful day and a great distractions from Hospitals.
I realized a few days ago that I am horrible at follow up blogs. I'll write down a goal and never actually tell you how it's going, or went. So that's what this post is about, my summer goals.
Goal number 1: Become more decisive. I think this goal is going well, but I'm not so sure... ha ha I'm funny. Basically I had forgotten about this one. But the more I talk with Georgia Boy the more I'm deciding stuff.
Goal number 2: Become more religious. *cough, cough* Um... well it started off well. I was happily reading the book "Strengthening Our Families: An in-depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family" in April, then May happened. I begrudgingly kept reading then kinda petered out in June. However I started reading it again at the end of June, then changed my routine so now it's my Sunday reading. Instead I'm reading the Book of Mormon every night. It's my goal to finish by the start of school, so September 12th. So far I am on 2 Nephi (don't think I zoomed through 1 Nephi, that was my reading during the Sacrament for the past three months.) I figure if I'm really ambitious and can keep to a break neck speed I can finish by the 20th of August. However, I know that won't happen so I'm trying to read at least two chapters a night. I'm actually loving it. I don't know if it's because I'm older since the last time I actually decided to study the Boom of Mormon by myself, or that I have been reading more difficult stuff lately but I have been getting so much out of the chapters. It's great.
Also I was called as Sunday school teacher! I've been wanting this calling since I was a freshman! I was super excited to teach the New Testament because I've been there. However, the Lord is keeping me humble teaching Preach My Gospel. My first lesson was okay. Not how I wanted it to go but it'll get better, I hope.
Nightly prayers have become more sincere, morning prayers are still struggling to get said.
Goal number 3: Have a more consistent schedule. *cough, cough, hack, hack, cough*
Goal number 4: Gain weight. I actually have no idea how this is going. I forgot to weigh myself at the beginning of the summer and I don't even know were the scale is now that we moved.
Goal number 5: Eat breakfast without feeling sick. Actually this goal has worked... or at least when I was eating breakfast.....
Goal number 6: No water works. Well the month of April and May there were plenty of tears. An impending break up and then it actually happening were at fault. Don't worry, we got back together (best birthday present ever). I should probably explain why I set this goal a little so the next part makes a little more sense. I have somehow gotten it into my head that it's not okay for me to cry. It's totally legit for everyone else to, just not me. I don't know if it was all the tough women warrior books I read since I was little but that was the idea in my head, and I hated to cry. Literally. i would beat myself up mentally every time for showing "weakness." There's the reason and here's the next part.
A few weeks ago in Relief Society we were talking about how great righteous women are. The teacher had someone read a quote about different gifts that we don't usually think of as gifts. One of them was the gift of weeping, or crying I forget the exact wording. Then we had a discussion that without accepting your current gifts you can't strengthen them and become stronger altogether. This really hit home so I have spent the past few weeks accepting this part of myself. The funny thing is that now that I have started to it's a lot easier not to cry. I still have situations where I want to but it's a lot easier not to turn into a blithering idiot. Go figure ha ha.
Goal number 7: Find joy in the internship. I was doing so well, and then I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not doing so well now.
Goal number 8: Get a tan. Yay! This one is going great! In May I helped out with a yard sale and got toasted. That mostly turned into a nice tan, with some sad tan lines yes but still. Wearing shorts all the time is also helping the legs. Time in Moab also helped ( I still need to write about that...). It's funny, the more I wear shorts the less I care about what people think of my white/sometimes not perfectly shaved legs. Yay for self-esteem!
Goal number 9: Yard work. This did pick up alot when I got my ipod back. However moving scared my motivation away. However since Georgia Boy is going to come down for a good long while to help with yard work, I'll probably find motivation again. =}
Goal number 10: clusters. I'm defaulting to CIT and automotive tech. I'm signed up for both beginning classes in the Fall. We'll see if I'm as good at programing as I hope I will be, and as interested in mechanics as I think I am.
Goal number 11: Resurrection of social life. This one is going quite well too. Home evening with the ward every Monday. Going to a pool party at least once a week. Sunday night gospel study sessions. Movie nights are picking up, seriously. Mal and I are actually starting to have social standing and influence. Random outings with friends. Talking to more than just high school friends/acquaintances at church. Rooftop concerts every 1st Friday night.
A side effect of this, or a precursor...I'm not sure, is that I'm trusting people with more...me I guess.
Think about it. What kind of relationship do I have with you (if you know me from real life)? Mostly you come talk to me about your problems or to vent or something like that right? I'm the friend with advice, a shoulder to cry on, with a big hug, and huge smile. Sounds about right huh? Now think about me. What are my favorite colors? Favorite genre of books? When's my birthday? All the surface stuff that's easy to know right? (Emerald green and ice blue, fantasy/sci-fi, and think about it. Just incase you didn't know)
Now think about these questions: Do you know how much I worry? How much I'm afraid of marriage? How much I just want to be liked by those around me? How much of a geek and book nerd I really am? Did you know that Georgia Boy and I broke up? Did I tell you my da has cancer and how much that scares me? What are some of my deepest fears?
Don't know the answers? You're just like everyone else, mostly. However, I'm starting to let myself out. No longer am I looking at certain people and saying "Wow, you're amazing. I have to be perfect to be your friend. Show no weakness, Kanani. No one really wants to hear it anyway." Now it's more of a "Yes, that person is amazing, but so are you. They care about you, it's okay to show not everything is awesome."
It's been hard to let people in. Especially with past experiences. I still down play a lot of stuff like it's nothing, even though I'm freaking out inside. But it's a process right?
Anyway. That's the update of the summer goals. Mostly this was written because my body woke me up at 5:30 this morning and laughed maniacally when it wouldn't let me go back to sleep. Partly because I want to be better at follow ups.
Gotta blaze!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I went barefoot and liked it
"By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet. "
Thomas Merton
I've noticed that when I'm barefooted I'm at my happiest. Now it might be the situations I am in and not the actual bare feet that cause the happiness, but they happen around the same time. Take tonight for example. My ward had Home Evening up the canyon in a wonderful park. I did take my sandals, I just left them in the car. I had fun exploring the different paths in the trees, stepping over rocks, on tree trunks, on the soil. I was very proud of how tough my feet have gotten. i only winced once or twice while walking around. I had fun climbing a tree and feeling the bark, of standing on the cement around the bonfire and feel as it heated up from said fire.
I guess this is something I've noticed lately. I like to be able to feel things like this. The not so subtle change of hot cement or dry grass that is in the direct sunlight to the cool, still slightly wet cement/grass in the shade. I like the textures of differently poured cement in each of the squares along the sidewalk. Or the feel of the blades of grass tickling the arches of my feet.
The burning of the hot asphalt I can do without but everything else I pretty much enjoy feeling.
Like I have mentioned before I have gone to Kwistin's a couple of Sundays to have scripture study. Almost all of them I have gone barefoot as her house is only a few blocks from mine. One time she asked if I wanted a ride home because it was dark, I politely declined and someone else chimed in "But you're barefoot!" "That's the point!" I quickly replied. Shoes are too constricting. I have been wearing either flip flops or nothing since April. It made me really uncomfortable to wear tennis shoes when hiking down in Moab last weekend (I will do a post on that I promise!). Of course that only lasted a few hours but still, shoes are so hot and stuffy. Blech, that's what I have to say to them. I think I surprised some of that group that went to Moab as we were walking around rocks and a cliff like area because I was running around barefoot. What? I would rather have sure footing and a good grip with my bare feet that slip and fall to my death because I was wearing flip-flops.
I was playing with my 4 year old niece when my sister and brother-in-law stopped by to pick up a computer from my grandma when she asked what I was wearing on my feet.
"I'm wearing bare feet, Favorite!" (yes, that is my personal nick-name for her)
"Oh!"
A few minutes later I heard her say this to one of her parents:
"Can I wear my bare feet too?" Oh, I have already started to corrupt the next generation. My heart smiles =}
Anyway, there's just another look into just one of the many quirks of my personality.
Gotta blaze!
Thomas Merton
I've noticed that when I'm barefooted I'm at my happiest. Now it might be the situations I am in and not the actual bare feet that cause the happiness, but they happen around the same time. Take tonight for example. My ward had Home Evening up the canyon in a wonderful park. I did take my sandals, I just left them in the car. I had fun exploring the different paths in the trees, stepping over rocks, on tree trunks, on the soil. I was very proud of how tough my feet have gotten. i only winced once or twice while walking around. I had fun climbing a tree and feeling the bark, of standing on the cement around the bonfire and feel as it heated up from said fire.
I guess this is something I've noticed lately. I like to be able to feel things like this. The not so subtle change of hot cement or dry grass that is in the direct sunlight to the cool, still slightly wet cement/grass in the shade. I like the textures of differently poured cement in each of the squares along the sidewalk. Or the feel of the blades of grass tickling the arches of my feet.
The burning of the hot asphalt I can do without but everything else I pretty much enjoy feeling.
Like I have mentioned before I have gone to Kwistin's a couple of Sundays to have scripture study. Almost all of them I have gone barefoot as her house is only a few blocks from mine. One time she asked if I wanted a ride home because it was dark, I politely declined and someone else chimed in "But you're barefoot!" "That's the point!" I quickly replied. Shoes are too constricting. I have been wearing either flip flops or nothing since April. It made me really uncomfortable to wear tennis shoes when hiking down in Moab last weekend (I will do a post on that I promise!). Of course that only lasted a few hours but still, shoes are so hot and stuffy. Blech, that's what I have to say to them. I think I surprised some of that group that went to Moab as we were walking around rocks and a cliff like area because I was running around barefoot. What? I would rather have sure footing and a good grip with my bare feet that slip and fall to my death because I was wearing flip-flops.
I was playing with my 4 year old niece when my sister and brother-in-law stopped by to pick up a computer from my grandma when she asked what I was wearing on my feet.
"I'm wearing bare feet, Favorite!" (yes, that is my personal nick-name for her)
"Oh!"
A few minutes later I heard her say this to one of her parents:
"Can I wear my bare feet too?" Oh, I have already started to corrupt the next generation. My heart smiles =}
Anyway, there's just another look into just one of the many quirks of my personality.
Gotta blaze!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Yell Your Heart Out
"Sanity is a cozy lie."- Susan Sontag
Two weekends ago my sister and I were volunteers for the UV marathon, and it was amazing. At first I wasn't that excited, getting up at 5:30 and standing out in the sun all day on a Saturday? No thank you. However I am glad I said yes. Not only for the time with my wonderful sister but because it was inspiring.
We worked the finish line. When we first got there, around 6 am and helped moved water jugs to tables. Then we took boxes full of bags full of medals in smaller bags and emptied them all out. That was a chore, over 4000 little bags to dump out. Luckily there were other volunteers lol.
This was not the amazing part, the amazing part was that we got to help hand out the medals. Me and my sis, waiting for those who had given it what they got to finish.
We worked the half marathon side for a bit until they needed someone on the marathon side. That would be me. They had the scooter for adults coming, along with the wheelchair dude who was so much fun to talk with. His jokes had everyone cracking up. Also those who were paraplegic. I got to hand them their medals. Wow.
The first marathoner came over the finish at 2:17:00 or something like that. He was amazing. I got to hand him his medal too.
At first I was really shy about the whole thing. About standing there and handing out the medals, but then I did something to get over it. How you ask? I started to yell at the half-marathoners behind the finish line. See those that had finished had been gathering around the finish line to see their friends finish, or just to see others finish. However this caused issues for those coming to the finish line. After you run you don't really want to push through crowds to get to water, food, or the bathroom. The admins had come through once or twice to push the crowd back but they were way busy being, well admins. So I started to take over. The first few times I tried the people gave me a funny look and moved one of their feet, like that would help. I might have been to timid and that's why. So I started to yell "IF YOU COULD MOVE BACK AND TO THE SIDES PLEASE! WE NEED A SPACE FOR THE RUNNERS TO COOL DOWN." As I walked a good 7-10 feet while waving my arms around like a flight attendant. It worked. People cleared the area. After a while I even started to joke about it. "IF YOU COULD MOVE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED OF HEARING ME YELL CAUSE I'M TIRED OF YELLING!"
That was pretty much my job besides handing out the medals. We tried to put the medals around everyones necks but some just wanted to be handed them. My favorite was a guy volunteer tried putting a medal around a guys neck and the guy said with a smile"Sorry I want a beautiful woman to give me a medal. Tradition." And he came over to me! =} My other job was cheering for those coming in. That was one of the most amazing parts, just watching people cross the line. Some had tears in their eyes because they qualified for Boston. One even gave a great roar of joy as he crossed because he qualified. A woman almost had tears streaming down her face as she said "I qualified, I qualified." It was just amazing.
Then there were those who spent everything they had to finish. Did you know there are designated Catchers at the end of races? I didn't. Some people give all they have for the race and then they just collapse. We only had 6 or7 and only one fell hard. There was this guy who looked kind of queasy as he finished and I asked if he was okay. He said yes and as he started to fall on his butt he said "maybe not." I told him he was amazing, encouraging him and all. He turned and looked at me and told me that I was amazing. I laughed it off and replied that he had just run a marathon not me. But it got me thinking. The whole thing was put on by volunteers, without us the thing wouldn't be happening. Maybe I was just a touch amazing.
I helped Lani with the half-marathon for a while when there were to many people handing out marathon medals. She was cheering for everyone that came across, not just clapping but yelling and waving her arm. I liked that so I started to do it too. When the marathon medal people thinned I went back and started to do what Lani was doing for the half-marathon runners. It made the finish that much better for me.
I think I even made a difference for some of the runners. When new volunteers rotated in they thought I was crazy, I was yelling my lungs out "COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT. KEEP RUNNING, KEEP PUSHING. GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT. !" Was mostly what I yelled. Plus my hands were red at this point from clapping. But then the new volunteers caught on and started to yell and through out high fives. It's all about the energy you put into it.
I think one of my favorite parts was after the 6:00:00 mark. After that the runners that were coming in were the exhausted going at it in the hot sun people. They are the ones who needed the cheerleader energy. They trickled in with maybe 5 minutes in between. I could see them two stop lights down and that's when I would start to yell. Most of the crowd had gone home by then so it was me and the other volunteers. At this point my stomach muscles were cramping and my voice wasn't at it's best but I kept cheering. I even had to bend over sometimes to get any air so I could yell.
Around 6:30:00 the admin people were going to shut down the time and pack up. I turned to them and asked could they keep it open just a little longer? i could see some runners still. They said they would try but they were told to shut down at 6:30:00 I don't remember the real time they turned it off but it was a good while later.
As we cheered someone down the finishing chute of the other volunteers said "I want to go out there and run them in, can we do that?" I turned and replied "I don't know, but lets do it!" So she and I took off and met up with the person "Can we run with you?" they nodded and we did. It was amazing. We did that for the rest of the groups I was there for. We would run them to the finish and wait for the next people to come, then run out to meet them. One of my favorite replies was "I'm walking it, but I would love the company."
During the 5:00:00 hour the photographer walked past as I yelled someone in "Are you still at it?" "Someone has to do it!" I laughed in reply. When he left, around the 6:00;00 hour he told me that we were amazing and he had told the announcer we were the best volunteers and we deserved something. As I was waiting to run someone else in the announcer leaned over and told me that we were amazing volunteers and thank you for doing an amazing job.
Those were awesome self-esteem boosts but I really hadn't thought about it much. I was too focused on giving the runners that last minute encouragement. And now that I think about it, it was just nice to help out.
I will totally be at that finish line next year, cheering on those runners. Anyone care to join me?
My awesome sister
Me and my awesome sister. Way to be up before the sun!
Two weekends ago my sister and I were volunteers for the UV marathon, and it was amazing. At first I wasn't that excited, getting up at 5:30 and standing out in the sun all day on a Saturday? No thank you. However I am glad I said yes. Not only for the time with my wonderful sister but because it was inspiring.
We worked the finish line. When we first got there, around 6 am and helped moved water jugs to tables. Then we took boxes full of bags full of medals in smaller bags and emptied them all out. That was a chore, over 4000 little bags to dump out. Luckily there were other volunteers lol.
This was not the amazing part, the amazing part was that we got to help hand out the medals. Me and my sis, waiting for those who had given it what they got to finish.
We worked the half marathon side for a bit until they needed someone on the marathon side. That would be me. They had the scooter for adults coming, along with the wheelchair dude who was so much fun to talk with. His jokes had everyone cracking up. Also those who were paraplegic. I got to hand them their medals. Wow.
The first marathoner came over the finish at 2:17:00 or something like that. He was amazing. I got to hand him his medal too.
At first I was really shy about the whole thing. About standing there and handing out the medals, but then I did something to get over it. How you ask? I started to yell at the half-marathoners behind the finish line. See those that had finished had been gathering around the finish line to see their friends finish, or just to see others finish. However this caused issues for those coming to the finish line. After you run you don't really want to push through crowds to get to water, food, or the bathroom. The admins had come through once or twice to push the crowd back but they were way busy being, well admins. So I started to take over. The first few times I tried the people gave me a funny look and moved one of their feet, like that would help. I might have been to timid and that's why. So I started to yell "IF YOU COULD MOVE BACK AND TO THE SIDES PLEASE! WE NEED A SPACE FOR THE RUNNERS TO COOL DOWN." As I walked a good 7-10 feet while waving my arms around like a flight attendant. It worked. People cleared the area. After a while I even started to joke about it. "IF YOU COULD MOVE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED OF HEARING ME YELL CAUSE I'M TIRED OF YELLING!"
That was pretty much my job besides handing out the medals. We tried to put the medals around everyones necks but some just wanted to be handed them. My favorite was a guy volunteer tried putting a medal around a guys neck and the guy said with a smile"Sorry I want a beautiful woman to give me a medal. Tradition." And he came over to me! =} My other job was cheering for those coming in. That was one of the most amazing parts, just watching people cross the line. Some had tears in their eyes because they qualified for Boston. One even gave a great roar of joy as he crossed because he qualified. A woman almost had tears streaming down her face as she said "I qualified, I qualified." It was just amazing.
Then there were those who spent everything they had to finish. Did you know there are designated Catchers at the end of races? I didn't. Some people give all they have for the race and then they just collapse. We only had 6 or7 and only one fell hard. There was this guy who looked kind of queasy as he finished and I asked if he was okay. He said yes and as he started to fall on his butt he said "maybe not." I told him he was amazing, encouraging him and all. He turned and looked at me and told me that I was amazing. I laughed it off and replied that he had just run a marathon not me. But it got me thinking. The whole thing was put on by volunteers, without us the thing wouldn't be happening. Maybe I was just a touch amazing.
I helped Lani with the half-marathon for a while when there were to many people handing out marathon medals. She was cheering for everyone that came across, not just clapping but yelling and waving her arm. I liked that so I started to do it too. When the marathon medal people thinned I went back and started to do what Lani was doing for the half-marathon runners. It made the finish that much better for me.
I think I even made a difference for some of the runners. When new volunteers rotated in they thought I was crazy, I was yelling my lungs out "COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT. KEEP RUNNING, KEEP PUSHING. GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT. !" Was mostly what I yelled. Plus my hands were red at this point from clapping. But then the new volunteers caught on and started to yell and through out high fives. It's all about the energy you put into it.
I think one of my favorite parts was after the 6:00:00 mark. After that the runners that were coming in were the exhausted going at it in the hot sun people. They are the ones who needed the cheerleader energy. They trickled in with maybe 5 minutes in between. I could see them two stop lights down and that's when I would start to yell. Most of the crowd had gone home by then so it was me and the other volunteers. At this point my stomach muscles were cramping and my voice wasn't at it's best but I kept cheering. I even had to bend over sometimes to get any air so I could yell.
Around 6:30:00 the admin people were going to shut down the time and pack up. I turned to them and asked could they keep it open just a little longer? i could see some runners still. They said they would try but they were told to shut down at 6:30:00 I don't remember the real time they turned it off but it was a good while later.
As we cheered someone down the finishing chute of the other volunteers said "I want to go out there and run them in, can we do that?" I turned and replied "I don't know, but lets do it!" So she and I took off and met up with the person "Can we run with you?" they nodded and we did. It was amazing. We did that for the rest of the groups I was there for. We would run them to the finish and wait for the next people to come, then run out to meet them. One of my favorite replies was "I'm walking it, but I would love the company."
During the 5:00:00 hour the photographer walked past as I yelled someone in "Are you still at it?" "Someone has to do it!" I laughed in reply. When he left, around the 6:00;00 hour he told me that we were amazing and he had told the announcer we were the best volunteers and we deserved something. As I was waiting to run someone else in the announcer leaned over and told me that we were amazing volunteers and thank you for doing an amazing job.
Those were awesome self-esteem boosts but I really hadn't thought about it much. I was too focused on giving the runners that last minute encouragement. And now that I think about it, it was just nice to help out.
I will totally be at that finish line next year, cheering on those runners. Anyone care to join me?
My awesome sister
Me and my awesome sister. Way to be up before the sun!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Physical Therapy
"Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action." -Mother Teresa
Good morning, or afternoon, or evening, all. I have a huge request to make of you today. Now I Can is part of a competition to win $250,000. We would use this money to help pay for scholarships for the kids that come through here.
What I mean by scholarships: Physical therapy is expensive, $6,000 for three weeks. Why is it so expensive? Well, it's because of the equipment we use, mostly something called a nuerosuit. This suit is custom fitted to the child and provides resistance to the muscles so when the suit is off it is easier for the child to move. Not only that but while the child is in the suit it forces their muscles into the correct posture and helps with mobility.
There are also the "spider" and "Monkey" cages. These don't actually have spiders or monkeys in them so don't worry. It's just what the harness looks like. These help with teaching the child balance and strengthens the arms and the legs.
So back to the meaning of scholarships. It is the goal of Now I Can to reduce the price of the therapy to little or no cost to the families. We rely heavily on the donations of companies and compassionate individuals for help as we are a non-profit organization.
So now that I have given you more information that you wanted, you just want to know how you can help, right? Right. Go on over to Now I Can and instructions will pop up on your screen. It's super easy and hardly takes any time. We can really, really use your help!
Thank you so much.
Good morning, or afternoon, or evening, all. I have a huge request to make of you today. Now I Can is part of a competition to win $250,000. We would use this money to help pay for scholarships for the kids that come through here.
What I mean by scholarships: Physical therapy is expensive, $6,000 for three weeks. Why is it so expensive? Well, it's because of the equipment we use, mostly something called a nuerosuit. This suit is custom fitted to the child and provides resistance to the muscles so when the suit is off it is easier for the child to move. Not only that but while the child is in the suit it forces their muscles into the correct posture and helps with mobility.
There are also the "spider" and "Monkey" cages. These don't actually have spiders or monkeys in them so don't worry. It's just what the harness looks like. These help with teaching the child balance and strengthens the arms and the legs.
So back to the meaning of scholarships. It is the goal of Now I Can to reduce the price of the therapy to little or no cost to the families. We rely heavily on the donations of companies and compassionate individuals for help as we are a non-profit organization.
So now that I have given you more information that you wanted, you just want to know how you can help, right? Right. Go on over to Now I Can and instructions will pop up on your screen. It's super easy and hardly takes any time. We can really, really use your help!
Thank you so much.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Angel's Luck Casino
\"Nature is our chapel." -Bjork
So it was recently my birthday, and I set up my own casino for a night.
My sister had done it a few years ago for a close friend and I really loved the idea, so I pretty much copied it. Only without Klah there the party didn't have awesome drinks non stop.
As my family was moving we cleared out the front room totally and decorated like this:
It was pretty much awesome. We had a blackjack, poker, roulette, and greed table. We also had a lot of IBC drinks, and wonderful Mal brought yummy drink mixes with soda to add to them. (Why yes I don't drink could you tell?)
I had a lot of fun setting up and entertaining guests. Wonderful Georgia Boy was a great dealer and taught everyone greed which was a great hit.
It was pretty much the bestest birthday ever.
Oh and for words of birthday wisdom...well I'll let the professionals do that.
Movie Wisdom
So it was recently my birthday, and I set up my own casino for a night.
My sister had done it a few years ago for a close friend and I really loved the idea, so I pretty much copied it. Only without Klah there the party didn't have awesome drinks non stop.
As my family was moving we cleared out the front room totally and decorated like this:
It was pretty much awesome. We had a blackjack, poker, roulette, and greed table. We also had a lot of IBC drinks, and wonderful Mal brought yummy drink mixes with soda to add to them. (Why yes I don't drink could you tell?)
I had a lot of fun setting up and entertaining guests. Wonderful Georgia Boy was a great dealer and taught everyone greed which was a great hit.
It was pretty much the bestest birthday ever.
Oh and for words of birthday wisdom...well I'll let the professionals do that.
Movie Wisdom
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Music Therapy
"For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness." -Reba McEntire
Okay, I love music. I am in no means good at it however. I make dogs howl when I sing, I can't keep a beat, I'm pretty sure the middle school band rejoiced when I stopped playing the flute/drums, and in any other form of music I'm awful. However, I can't get enough of it and I make a mean play list. It is a safe haven from the world and helps me express what I am feeling. Whether those feelings are ones of happiness, sadness, heartache, flirtiness, or whatever.
If you haven't tried music therapy to help you through your times you should. It doesn't matter if the playlist changes every few minutes or if it takes weeks, it helps. Like someone once said "Music should be your escape." It doesn't even matter what type of music you listen to. If it's classical or pop. There is a reason why those songs were created, and if you can find a personal meaning behind them, so much the better.
Here is an example or two of my playlists to help you kick start your own.
(I'm Not telling you the Name of this playlist because it was highly ....cheesy is not the right word but I can't think of another good word)
Breathe Again -Sara Bareilles
Basket Case -Sara Bareilles
Hold My Heart -Sara Bareilles Told ya she was my new favorite
Someday -Rob Thomas
Come Back to Me -David Cook
All of Me -Michel Buble
I Will Remember You -Sarah McLachlan
Glitter in the Air -P!nk
So What -P!nk
Miss You -Incubus
The Riddle -Scarlet Pimpernel
Bring on the Men -Jekyll and Hyde
That's Life -Frank Sinatra This one I laugh at the very beginning cause it was highly applicable
Rolling in the Deep -Adelle
This was pretty much my playlist, with a few interchanging songs, from May 7th to June 3rd. It was my trying to heal/don't want to heal list. It works quite well for those of you going through some of the same stuff. I also have a more angry/hard music mix if you would like that.
Then, pretty much from the wee hours of my birthday to now, and hopefully for a very long time, my playlist has been like this:
Boogala (yes that is the name, and till someone comes up with a better combo that is shall stay)
Come Fly With Me -Michael Buble
Georgia on My Mind -Michael Buble
Feelin Good - Michael Buble
Sunrise -Norah Jones
Everything -Lifehouse
Hero/Heroine -Boys Like Girls
The Light -Sarah Bareilles
Stolen -Dashboard Confessional
Your Love is My Drug -Ke$sha This one is more of a song associated with a memory and that's why I have it.
I know you Want Me
Halleluhah -Paramore
So you can see music therapy can help. It can give hope or just expresses what your heart can't at the moment. Don't worry I will post about the dramatics behind the playlists soon.
Well gotta blaze!
Okay, I love music. I am in no means good at it however. I make dogs howl when I sing, I can't keep a beat, I'm pretty sure the middle school band rejoiced when I stopped playing the flute/drums, and in any other form of music I'm awful. However, I can't get enough of it and I make a mean play list. It is a safe haven from the world and helps me express what I am feeling. Whether those feelings are ones of happiness, sadness, heartache, flirtiness, or whatever.
If you haven't tried music therapy to help you through your times you should. It doesn't matter if the playlist changes every few minutes or if it takes weeks, it helps. Like someone once said "Music should be your escape." It doesn't even matter what type of music you listen to. If it's classical or pop. There is a reason why those songs were created, and if you can find a personal meaning behind them, so much the better.
Here is an example or two of my playlists to help you kick start your own.
(I'm Not telling you the Name of this playlist because it was highly ....cheesy is not the right word but I can't think of another good word)
Breathe Again -Sara Bareilles
Basket Case -Sara Bareilles
Hold My Heart -Sara Bareilles Told ya she was my new favorite
Someday -Rob Thomas
Come Back to Me -David Cook
All of Me -Michel Buble
I Will Remember You -Sarah McLachlan
Glitter in the Air -P!nk
So What -P!nk
Miss You -Incubus
The Riddle -Scarlet Pimpernel
Bring on the Men -Jekyll and Hyde
That's Life -Frank Sinatra This one I laugh at the very beginning cause it was highly applicable
Rolling in the Deep -Adelle
This was pretty much my playlist, with a few interchanging songs, from May 7th to June 3rd. It was my trying to heal/don't want to heal list. It works quite well for those of you going through some of the same stuff. I also have a more angry/hard music mix if you would like that.
Then, pretty much from the wee hours of my birthday to now, and hopefully for a very long time, my playlist has been like this:
Boogala (yes that is the name, and till someone comes up with a better combo that is shall stay)
Come Fly With Me -Michael Buble
Georgia on My Mind -Michael Buble
Feelin Good - Michael Buble
Sunrise -Norah Jones
Everything -Lifehouse
Hero/Heroine -Boys Like Girls
The Light -Sarah Bareilles
Stolen -Dashboard Confessional
Your Love is My Drug -Ke$sha This one is more of a song associated with a memory and that's why I have it.
I know you Want Me
Halleluhah -Paramore
So you can see music therapy can help. It can give hope or just expresses what your heart can't at the moment. Don't worry I will post about the dramatics behind the playlists soon.
Well gotta blaze!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Success at a new goal
"The choices I wish I made, I always make to late."
Sick Puppies
So I forgot to mention one goal on my list for the summer, and that is to become more social. That goal is going great! Thanks to the awesome people in my ward and friends I have around here in homecity. The first week of May I went to the first of the rooftop concert series with Kwistin and some other people from the ward. You can read more about it on her blog
the rooftops
I also have been to several other concerts at Sammy's with Mal and her brother. Some of the bands were kinda sad, like I can't believe people told you you were good sad, but I have found some new bands to follow. Oh speaking of which, I have happily found a new singer to follow! It took me a while to find her because a few years back my music taste was way different and she had a chart topping song and I tended to avoid those. Sara Bareilles is her name! She isn't the typical sound but I heard one of her latest songs on the radio, Uncharted, and thought I would check out her latest CD, Kaleidoscope Heart, and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm sure Mum and Da aren't cause it's what I listen to every night. Anyway long tangent, sorry!
I've also been on a few adventures with said friends and fellow wardies. We went and saw a show at this really awesome place, The Music Muse, and then went and had Frozen Yogurt that was supper yummy. Oh and Sunday Kwistin had the brilliant idea to do a small scripture study group, which coincides with my get-more-spiritual goal. I had fun....not right word but you know what I mean, talking about Luke 16 and watching the flow of conversation and how things lead to different things. Once again I felt like I made really stupid connects and let my mouth run but that's just me.
This section is kinda a downer so you can skip it if you want.
It's kind of strange to look back a year ago and think it was a year ago, but at the same time it seems so much longer.
I had a boy starting to walk out of my life and another starting to walk in.
Basically I was supper frustrated with B.M. and his cousin. Silly reason but I was so angry with them. I took this really long walk so I would miss FHE and avoid people. I even had Skillet blaring in my ears the whole time.
I got back to the apartment when I thought everyone would have left, so around 7:30, but forgot that we moved FHE to 7:15 so everyone was just settling down. Grr! I can't be angry around people outside my apartment! So I put on a smile and sat on the couch very grumpily. Georgia boy was sitting on the floor kinda next to the couch and and at one point looked at me and asked very sincerely "Are you okay?" I gave my usual answer but then decided to have fun flirting, and boy did we.
Anyway, this year I have a boy walking out and non walking in. May, I hate you. Just so you know. June you're on my list too, but I can't hate you because I was born during your reign.
Sick Puppies
So I forgot to mention one goal on my list for the summer, and that is to become more social. That goal is going great! Thanks to the awesome people in my ward and friends I have around here in homecity. The first week of May I went to the first of the rooftop concert series with Kwistin and some other people from the ward. You can read more about it on her blog
the rooftops
I also have been to several other concerts at Sammy's with Mal and her brother. Some of the bands were kinda sad, like I can't believe people told you you were good sad, but I have found some new bands to follow. Oh speaking of which, I have happily found a new singer to follow! It took me a while to find her because a few years back my music taste was way different and she had a chart topping song and I tended to avoid those. Sara Bareilles is her name! She isn't the typical sound but I heard one of her latest songs on the radio, Uncharted, and thought I would check out her latest CD, Kaleidoscope Heart, and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm sure Mum and Da aren't cause it's what I listen to every night. Anyway long tangent, sorry!
I've also been on a few adventures with said friends and fellow wardies. We went and saw a show at this really awesome place, The Music Muse, and then went and had Frozen Yogurt that was supper yummy. Oh and Sunday Kwistin had the brilliant idea to do a small scripture study group, which coincides with my get-more-spiritual goal. I had fun....not right word but you know what I mean, talking about Luke 16 and watching the flow of conversation and how things lead to different things. Once again I felt like I made really stupid connects and let my mouth run but that's just me.
This section is kinda a downer so you can skip it if you want.
It's kind of strange to look back a year ago and think it was a year ago, but at the same time it seems so much longer.
I had a boy starting to walk out of my life and another starting to walk in.
Basically I was supper frustrated with B.M. and his cousin. Silly reason but I was so angry with them. I took this really long walk so I would miss FHE and avoid people. I even had Skillet blaring in my ears the whole time.
I got back to the apartment when I thought everyone would have left, so around 7:30, but forgot that we moved FHE to 7:15 so everyone was just settling down. Grr! I can't be angry around people outside my apartment! So I put on a smile and sat on the couch very grumpily. Georgia boy was sitting on the floor kinda next to the couch and and at one point looked at me and asked very sincerely "Are you okay?" I gave my usual answer but then decided to have fun flirting, and boy did we.
Anyway, this year I have a boy walking out and non walking in. May, I hate you. Just so you know. June you're on my list too, but I can't hate you because I was born during your reign.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Now I Can
"Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content."
Louis L'Amour
So as I've settled into my internship it's become better. Finding assignments to do is still a little hard but I think the experience is good. Now here is some shameless promoting for Now I Can: An intern started a blog a few months back and it has now fallen to me to keep it up, and I want people to actually read it. So as a huge favor to me, or just to learn more about Now I Can, will you read it?
http://nowicanfoundation.blogspot.com/
Thanks a bunch!
Louis L'Amour
So as I've settled into my internship it's become better. Finding assignments to do is still a little hard but I think the experience is good. Now here is some shameless promoting for Now I Can: An intern started a blog a few months back and it has now fallen to me to keep it up, and I want people to actually read it. So as a huge favor to me, or just to learn more about Now I Can, will you read it?
http://nowicanfoundation.blogspot.com/
Thanks a bunch!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Just a thought dump
"They break your heart, they steal your soul, take you apart and yet they somehow make you whole. So what's their game. I suppose a rose by any other name, the perfume and the pricks the same. So lets bring on the men and let the fun begin!" Bring on the Men from Jekyll and Hyde
I have found a paradox in myself once again. I love the east coast, the very idea of it, the architecture, the diversity, and the history. Even though I have only been able to go twice, once on a church history tour and once with Georgia Boy, I love it.
And recently I was looking through Kwisten's pictures of her adventures in NY city, and once again felt the urge to live there. Just to have the elegant buildings, crammed apartments that still have beauty, and adventure. Yes, I do love the central mountain region, I lived here all of my childhood and technically still do when I go to college. But it's lacking what I thrive on, culture diversity and history. Okay some can argue that it has tons of history, which it does thanks to the LDS church, and I understand that but I want more. Where are the buildings that have been there since the 1600s? Where are the stories of the founding fathers? Of the wars the devastated the US? The buildings packed tightly together to accommodate the steep increase in population?
And as for culture diversity, it's getting better but it's still not what I like (What? A Utah Mormon asking for diversity? She must be crazy).
But then we run into a problem when I think about moving to a large city that holds that history and diversity. I start to freak out a little.
See I always thought that homecity was big, what with the university and everything here. So I thought big cities would be no problem. I even had the notion of moving to San Fransisco for a while. Then I took a trip to SLC for some reason when I was around 12 and realized something. Homecity is not big at all, not compared to SLC and SLC isn't even that big of a city compared to where I was dreaming of living. This hit me even more when I was turning 15 and I went to a cousin's wedding in San Francisco. I got claustrophobic from driving around the city. Just because the roads were so tight and the buildings so impending. Shouldn't I love this? It's what I want. But I couldn't get over it.
I loved the Old City in Jerusalem and never got that feeling even though a lot of the roads were overly crowded and were encased by housing above. Who knows why that is.
It seems that big cities have drawn out another aspect of my personality for me. I love them but they scare me half to death. Like most things in my life.
*Growl, grumble grumble, growl*
Don't know why I really wrote this. I guess just to get it out. Congrats for getting to know another side of me.
Oh and just to put in my vote of who is going to die tonight on Castle: I call either the Captain or Laini....Or the guy they keep bringing in to sub for her. Hey, don't give me that skeptical look, it could totally work, they killed of a sub character on NCIS so there.
I have found a paradox in myself once again. I love the east coast, the very idea of it, the architecture, the diversity, and the history. Even though I have only been able to go twice, once on a church history tour and once with Georgia Boy, I love it.
And recently I was looking through Kwisten's pictures of her adventures in NY city, and once again felt the urge to live there. Just to have the elegant buildings, crammed apartments that still have beauty, and adventure. Yes, I do love the central mountain region, I lived here all of my childhood and technically still do when I go to college. But it's lacking what I thrive on, culture diversity and history. Okay some can argue that it has tons of history, which it does thanks to the LDS church, and I understand that but I want more. Where are the buildings that have been there since the 1600s? Where are the stories of the founding fathers? Of the wars the devastated the US? The buildings packed tightly together to accommodate the steep increase in population?
And as for culture diversity, it's getting better but it's still not what I like (What? A Utah Mormon asking for diversity? She must be crazy).
But then we run into a problem when I think about moving to a large city that holds that history and diversity. I start to freak out a little.
See I always thought that homecity was big, what with the university and everything here. So I thought big cities would be no problem. I even had the notion of moving to San Fransisco for a while. Then I took a trip to SLC for some reason when I was around 12 and realized something. Homecity is not big at all, not compared to SLC and SLC isn't even that big of a city compared to where I was dreaming of living. This hit me even more when I was turning 15 and I went to a cousin's wedding in San Francisco. I got claustrophobic from driving around the city. Just because the roads were so tight and the buildings so impending. Shouldn't I love this? It's what I want. But I couldn't get over it.
I loved the Old City in Jerusalem and never got that feeling even though a lot of the roads were overly crowded and were encased by housing above. Who knows why that is.
It seems that big cities have drawn out another aspect of my personality for me. I love them but they scare me half to death. Like most things in my life.
*Growl, grumble grumble, growl*
Don't know why I really wrote this. I guess just to get it out. Congrats for getting to know another side of me.
Oh and just to put in my vote of who is going to die tonight on Castle: I call either the Captain or Laini....Or the guy they keep bringing in to sub for her. Hey, don't give me that skeptical look, it could totally work, they killed of a sub character on NCIS so there.
Monday, May 09, 2011
the HR office
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull."
W. C. Fields
Huzzah! It's a post about where I have been working. I've been teasing with tidbits for almost a year but never have I told you my experiences, so here it is.
Last Spring I stayed at school and quickly realized I would need a job to fund it. I tried to get a custodial job, thank the stars I didn't actually get that job, getting up at 3:30 in the morning? No thank you.
Anyway, I saw that there was an opening at the Human Resources office for a student secretary and thought I would give it a try. I remember making my resume look good, mostly this had been done during Winter semester when it was due for a class, then taking it to the office. I was so nervous, but the people there seemed really nice. Wonder Woman took it and made an instant connection, she had been a Rec Management major too. I left with high hopes and a prayer in my heart that if it was right I would get the job. Well I got a call later that week that they wanted to interview me. Okay is this the proper time to freak out or after the interview? I think I did a little at each time.
At the time of the interview I got dressed in one of my better outfits and tried to be calm the whole time. I was fine when I got the the HR office, fine as I talked to Love and she asked that i have a seat and they would come get me, and I was fine as I sat there waiting.
I was even fine when Wonder Woman came to get me, I got really nervous when she led me into the interview room. Why? Because there were four people sitting in there. I thought it was just going to be Wonder Woman. But I swallowed and tried not to show my nerves. It was a very pleasant interview, and went well for only being my second one ever. I left trying to remember everyone's name, then halfway home I realized that was probably dumb, as I most likely would not be called back. Imagine my surprise the next day when i got a phone call from Wonder Woman telling me I got the job. Wow, can I just say wow? AWESOME!
The next day i was really, really nervous. But I think I did okay. Poor Love though, I think I asked more questions than anything else for the next month. But I finally got the hang of it. Or at least I think I did, those in the office might tell you differently haha.
I was timid and shy for about the first month. me, shy? I know right? After that I felt comfortable enough to start letting me really show. Of course it was way easy with Love and Wonder Woman throwing out movie quotes, or references, all the time. Also it was a definite plus when I found out that Wonder Woman loves Star Wars too.
I'm going to stop right now and say I love the HR office... Okay not the office itself but the people. I think they are one of the things I miss most about the Burg. There's Wonder Woman (who sadly moved to the online HR department), Love (who was supposed to leave after she graduated but got Bryan's job instead yay!), Baldwin (who towards the end I became more of her secretary when I didn't have anything to do, and who is wonderful!), Sir Patricio (He over saw the students and teases like Da does, JC (who after asking me about BM and finding out we had broken up never really asked anything personal again), Ms. Ricks, Summa, and Rhodehouse. Not to mention the other student secretaries.
I really miss those people.
I loved being able to joke with co-workers and laugh most of the day. The feeling of family is something I miss too. How when a couple of us would start to talk about something interesting the others would come out of their mini offices and join in. How when I was telling Wonder Woman what happened in my apartment almost everyone came out to give advice and offer their house to stay at. Not only that but they checked up on it and were really caring.
How I would talk to Love for most of my shift some days, just listening to her figure somethings out. I miss it a lot.
So I guess that wasn't a really good description of my job. But it was more than a job to me. It was a home and a place where I had family. And I am very happy to go back there in the Fall, possibly in August.
Well gotta blaze!
W. C. Fields
Huzzah! It's a post about where I have been working. I've been teasing with tidbits for almost a year but never have I told you my experiences, so here it is.
Last Spring I stayed at school and quickly realized I would need a job to fund it. I tried to get a custodial job, thank the stars I didn't actually get that job, getting up at 3:30 in the morning? No thank you.
Anyway, I saw that there was an opening at the Human Resources office for a student secretary and thought I would give it a try. I remember making my resume look good, mostly this had been done during Winter semester when it was due for a class, then taking it to the office. I was so nervous, but the people there seemed really nice. Wonder Woman took it and made an instant connection, she had been a Rec Management major too. I left with high hopes and a prayer in my heart that if it was right I would get the job. Well I got a call later that week that they wanted to interview me. Okay is this the proper time to freak out or after the interview? I think I did a little at each time.
At the time of the interview I got dressed in one of my better outfits and tried to be calm the whole time. I was fine when I got the the HR office, fine as I talked to Love and she asked that i have a seat and they would come get me, and I was fine as I sat there waiting.
I was even fine when Wonder Woman came to get me, I got really nervous when she led me into the interview room. Why? Because there were four people sitting in there. I thought it was just going to be Wonder Woman. But I swallowed and tried not to show my nerves. It was a very pleasant interview, and went well for only being my second one ever. I left trying to remember everyone's name, then halfway home I realized that was probably dumb, as I most likely would not be called back. Imagine my surprise the next day when i got a phone call from Wonder Woman telling me I got the job. Wow, can I just say wow? AWESOME!
The next day i was really, really nervous. But I think I did okay. Poor Love though, I think I asked more questions than anything else for the next month. But I finally got the hang of it. Or at least I think I did, those in the office might tell you differently haha.
I was timid and shy for about the first month. me, shy? I know right? After that I felt comfortable enough to start letting me really show. Of course it was way easy with Love and Wonder Woman throwing out movie quotes, or references, all the time. Also it was a definite plus when I found out that Wonder Woman loves Star Wars too.
I'm going to stop right now and say I love the HR office... Okay not the office itself but the people. I think they are one of the things I miss most about the Burg. There's Wonder Woman (who sadly moved to the online HR department), Love (who was supposed to leave after she graduated but got Bryan's job instead yay!), Baldwin (who towards the end I became more of her secretary when I didn't have anything to do, and who is wonderful!), Sir Patricio (He over saw the students and teases like Da does, JC (who after asking me about BM and finding out we had broken up never really asked anything personal again), Ms. Ricks, Summa, and Rhodehouse. Not to mention the other student secretaries.
I really miss those people.
I loved being able to joke with co-workers and laugh most of the day. The feeling of family is something I miss too. How when a couple of us would start to talk about something interesting the others would come out of their mini offices and join in. How when I was telling Wonder Woman what happened in my apartment almost everyone came out to give advice and offer their house to stay at. Not only that but they checked up on it and were really caring.
How I would talk to Love for most of my shift some days, just listening to her figure somethings out. I miss it a lot.
So I guess that wasn't a really good description of my job. But it was more than a job to me. It was a home and a place where I had family. And I am very happy to go back there in the Fall, possibly in August.
Well gotta blaze!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
